You have psychological issues. You need professional help. I have no idea what compels you to post the way you do, but it is disturbing to be honest. I don't know if it's a heightened sense of entitlement, a cry for attention, or if you have been split into multiple personalities. I do sense narcissistic undertones in many of your posts.
Wow that was rude, but at least your honest about how you feel. It was a joke, that last one. Because Im pretty sure a few people didnt catch the reference.
I do have psychological issues but they have a source and its been rough but I reject the notion of narcissism. I was in a manipulative and abusive relationship with one, and I Didnt want to see it.. but that is currently no longer the case and this year(2021) has been my struggle to feel normal again. The only thing I have to say about the "tones" and this thread that you will probably ignore is there is a lot of intentional sarcasm, with a lot of weighing into it, and a lot of "self-aware" bits that are the linguistic way to express it as sarcasm because If I said everything with cold-to-the-point such as "Did your parents have any children that lived?" would be just a straight up rude comment to someone in response to a question. Especially without seeing full metal jacket or knowing that grit dog has had his plenty of annoying jabs over usually the dumbest ****, and that I specifically had asked him to lay off because of the week it is starting 2 days ago.
Comedy, in the sarcasm, is one way to deal with hardship and a cultural divide in my gen for norm stuff is probably also a reason because if you spent any time around us we make a lot of self-deprecating jokes that are concerning out of context. The context is probably also disturbing but here we are.
Green, for your context of where this all comes from, and anyone, the next part is about that. If you see a lot of threads, you see this playout however big or small, but its really simple to me what the solution is.
Grit dog, who has every idea of what he is doing and has been for a long time now, is emotionally immature and happens to dislike me, and he pokes. Most people can weather negative , sure, but it downright is to where his only interactions toward me are to be a dick and poke. An occasional agreement or helpful insight or non-weighted comment. Not a single other person engages in this behavior, if you dont like someone you just keep to yourself because tearing people down for the sake of tearing people down is unproductive and digging on other peoples reasons for being here is also dumb because ultimately we like the same stuff here and a lot of us vary on how-when-where-why and what is most important and we can respect that just fine without it invalidating our own reasons because we are adults who understand that and are capable of enjoying big blocks while being indifferent or accepting that others like small blocks. (example)
I do not think he at all should be punished by any means, there are rules but being a dick isnt one they just ban you for because we have good mods and people disagree and get testy. happens. most recent example who was rare was mr. poltics thread liberal who was only here to argue and by that I mean he literally would argue even if you agreed with him as he pre-determined what you would say and just used that, he wasnt having the same conversation as the people he was shouting at in that thread. but certainly was energetic about it.
I did, and have, however, asked him to please just stop talking or interacting if he only has nothing to say. Often times its ignoreable simply by not seeing the notification, but sometimes there is something of value, so its not as simple as ignore anything because its not wrong just because hes a dick, as far as things he says. however, I do expect that if he doesnt like me or just is not pleased with me that he can simple not engage in conversation or find a hobby or something. I have been respectful countless times, I have asked countless times. And each time is usually met with a comment that he has no idea what I am speaking about and continues on, and nothing changes. He isnt an idiot, he has functional higher order thinking, and he is just looking for an opportunity to push someones buttons.
SO.
I get that "people will be dicks" but this isnt the lunch room this is a forum where we come to talk about square bodies. Frankly, the fact it is a forum on the internet with a genre leaning to people who are either experienced or just have a passion/heart into something, that it naturally attracts people who can leave it at the door and still be just fine. To that end, it is why I have asked him, to please stop. If he is not going to respectfully leave me alone, then he is going to get the natural byproduct of his free speech. If he stops, I would not say "Did your parents have any children that lived?" without any contexts whatsoever or with a zing in mind. Unless it was vbb but it would be in light heart fun and Im 99% sure he would know the source. at least I hope. I hope.
If you follow the time I most recently asked him to stop, then you would find my "Did your parents have any children that lived?" followed him playing dumb and then responding here to make his comment. He lacks any respect for my more than anyone would find reasonable patience and so I show him the respect he is displaying. If he respects and grows up and stops, and only interactions are fine or neutral, there would quickly be zero frustration on my part and he would be like dingo or any of the other 5 people I seemingly have mashed the memories of because I learned that PFPs and the way I stored memories of their threads or posts did NOT lend to properly attributing to the right person so I have to check sometimes. 
WITH THAT. I am tired. I know that was a lot, but there is no way that is coming out without rambling because the only thing I ever had value for was "having the answers" or fixing a problem of some kind. And traumatic **** happened. And when the only thing your head has is information and you were faced with the fact
1) youre a doorknob because you let what happened happened,clearly you didnt know enough
2) had you been "the answer" or more useful, you wouldnt be where at now
Im not psycho but I am broken, and I really do not need reminding of it. I am very much aware, and I just distress/jumble more than already do. Its anxiety, mixed with a darting mind, and trying to fix a problem by throwing reasons/facts/explanations at it and that itself makes over half of the rambles.
I have to move forward while not returning to what it was. One step forward, my mind takes note, moves 2 back and its because based on beliefs values and morals I deserve where I am at. To change those means to be fake/wrong and ultimately unwilling. To move forward I need a reason, not others, but its.. thats the hang up there. I am getting creative because I have to build a schema that fits my maladaptive views that my mind higher processing cant reject. But I can only move forward when not hypervigilant, which when I am, the higher processing is present but its not safe and its looking for threat (real or anxiety based) and the slightest Tip-up for that will be primative classical conditioned responses which are very much not-good. The gunshot needs to sound without any incidence of harm or hurt metaphorically speaking a few more times before the gunshot isnt triggering.(using gunshot as a example because war PTSD could be easy to understand in that way here, but just a different thing. Or a bird and a button, bell and a dog for good.
I got in a state of mind and wrote this out. Its not relevant to this discussion as is but Its entirely feelings, sob story, and doesnt matter, but Im never going to be able to type it with less words. And I am not going to want to type it generally. I really wrote a lot here.. and I think the comment really set my brain off, but I spoiler most of the things because its just my broken brain bleeding facts and details and rapidly shifting anxiety.
I am sorry for being a defective unit. I wouldnt want to use it either.(This is a self-deprecating joke and Its humor but yeah..)
and now that your world and understanding of it and realizing the only value I had to anyone was that, I am left standing knowing that it cant happen again, but that means Im here, void, and locked into a state of hypervigilance because to family I am always short or failing to ___ and not enough, often using guilt that I am ontop of not being useful or inconvenient, but that I am also actively hurting them purposefully and Those kind of things fly in the face of everything I hold dear/true/moral/right and that I dont do those things. But I cant trust myself and I cant trust I wont be stupid and let everything that has been my whole life in someway maybe worse maybe the same but ultimately not good happen. Because I saw the facts, I had the knowledge, I had the intelligence, I had the warnings I had the other people even tell me here or there what it was and yet I still did. I betrayed myself, I betrayed people who I shouldnt care about but I do, because I ultimately shaped to do a job and Outserved my purpose..and thats where my mind is at a wall because I dont trust myself or my ability to distinguish good/bad in people, I dont trust I wont hurt someone from inaction or that I am enough for anyones time. And that all means to actively plow forward I need to chose willingly to act selfishly or in such ways that are completely ammoral to me. Or that by ignoring the impact I could have to others, and that is something I accept, means that Im both a liar and pretty ******* dirt. I know exactly how it might seem hard on myself and that Im putting way too much, esp from others, onto myself, and thats exactly it. Unrelenting standards. PTSD (Subtext would be Moral Injury, see combat vet research for the topic) and just the effects on someones everyday Life that multiple heavy hitting traumas as well as life curveballs in the adversity sense all in a short time, and what happens when your body remains hypervigilant and when in "fight or flight" what happens when you instead freeze. Im not sharing that last part in anyway but thats going to be the hardest to forgive And before you think this is schizophrenia, I already verified its not. There is a concept known as metacognitions basically its thinking about thinking, some people do more than others. Basically, my brain is standing on stilts over the problem and typing out on square forum on the web what it sees rather than submerse.. I wont explain why that is currently less desireable..And schizophrenia or other delusional situations demand that the person not be aware of how it sounds or that its not normal./common. unaware. Here I am doing another thing called "Intellectualizing" as a coping mechanism as well. God damn I need to go before I type 4 essays.
