Well, crap aside...
I have a horror story.
Once upon a time, there was a wee little J.R. He was only 25, but he loved his squarebodies. J.R. had owned a 87 k10 for about 5 years. It was a basic, but decent truck. Longbed, 4" lift, 4.56 gears, Detroit rear locker, Goodwrench 350 and a Truck Avenger carb.
J.R. used his K10 to commute in the winter, and for normal truck duties in the other seasons. He also liked to visit the Badlands ORV and some other offroad parks when he was able.
After untold miles and about 18 years, the 700R4 in J.R.'s truck pooped the bed. He only had first and second gears. So he did his research, and after debating a Goodwrench 700r4 to compliment his Goodwrench 350, he decided to get a Monster 700r4 so that it would for sure live through the wheeling, towing, and commuting he did. After all, Monster only used the best parts, in the best cases, and dyno tested every unit!
So J.R. bit the bullet and sent Monster 2400 of his hard earned dollars as a machinist journeyman for a new trans and converter. Then, even had their recommended shop in Cleveland install it.
After work one night, J.R. got a buddy to give him a ride to the shop, he was so excited. He was getting his truck back and going home to see his family for Christmas in Michigan! J.R. paid the installer, hopped in his beloved truck, and headed down the 80-90 turnpike towards Toledo!
With a couple of pitstops, all was well, he bought some gifts, he took some pisses... He was making good time when he stopped for gas in Milan Mi. When he pulled out of the gas station, alas! His truck didn't shift out of first gear! Getting angry, he revved the truck higher! BAM! It shifted and bogged! WTF!!! Not second gear! Straight to third. He tested a few more times, and it was the same every time. Being half way between home and his family, he chose to continue on to his family. He had a Monster, they had a warranty, they would make it right!
Once home to Michigan, he took it again to the Monster recommended shop. They hooked his battery up backwards and fried his alternator! When he finally forced them to fix that, he pulled out and still only had 1 and 3! Furious by now, J.R. called again, this time he was told the warranty would not be honored because he must not have adjusted the TV cable correctly. J.R. pointed out he hadn't adjusted the TV cable at all, they said he must have messed with it after he left the first shop, no warranty.
J.R. called his credit card company and put a stop on their payment, then went to a local transmission shop, where he explained what he had purchased. That afternoon, the local shop had the parts laid out on the table. J.R. was shoocked to find he had a car case, a normal 4 pinion planetary, missing bushings, and metal everywhere.
J.R. borrowed his mothers Bonneville, cannonballed to Summit racing in Arkon, bought a TCI Streetfighter 700R4, back to Michigan where he had it installed, and never had another transmission problem again. J.R. also invested in some books and tools, and learned to rebuild transmissions himself, so that he would never go through this again. J.R. spends his time telling everyone he can reach what a POS company Monster Transmission is, and living happily every after.
